Saturday, 28 January 2012

Environmental Issues

After a week away from home I have been able to see what I hadn’t been able to whilst in that environment. Like the saying goes ‘sometimes the best way to see a person is not look at them’. So having taken that and put it in perspective with my own environment and some of the people I surround myself with whilst realising things need to change.

Since I have been away for a week I found myself more motivated, waking up early and managing to get all the work I have procrastinated to get done completed. Due to that motivation and clear mind I have been able to see just that little bit clearer and had got me thinking of not heading back home any time soon because I don’t want to be blinded and have a cloudy mind again. 

So during my time away from home I have put myself out there more. Even though it has only been a little while I have been getting with some contacts I hadn’t spoken to in a while. After speaking to a number of them and meeting with a few, it was only after those conversations and meetings I realised all the opportunities I missed due to my own ignorance. 

At the end of the week I came to this thought...’ The moment you realise you have nothing to lose is when you start realising the vast opportunities around you’

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Future Kings & Queens

Since my last post I have been thinking about the relationship between black females and black males. It is an intriguing topic with many views which it can be looked at from. So I asked a few friends to find out their thoughts on how they have been treated and how they have treated the opposite sex.

The first relationship that I thought of was my parents. That is the longest relationship I have known and have been able to see firsthand. From how they treat each other, living and just watching how they are together. To watch them joke with each other and make their relationship seem 'like its the first day they met' amazes me. I think, would I be like that with my other half as I am a product of them. My mind then wandered and I thought how younger people and others in my generation view the relationships between the sexes. So I asked.

I received various views and opinions but by the end the majority answer was the same. It didn’t show us black men in a positive light.

From my view point its not a race issue. I know personally I could always treat females better and with more respect. Having said that if the female carries herself in that light, her character and attributes show she deserves that respect then she will get it. This is the opinion of the males I asked and my own. If you are portraying what you see other females are like on TV/music videos. Do you honestly believe you will get the respect you want/deserve?

At the end of the day we all want to be treated as king and queens. If we show those characteristics and attributes that is how you will be treated. No matter your race.

Thursday, 12 January 2012

False Reality

One of my favourite TV shows got cancelled just before Christmas. How to make it in America is/was a great show. It followed two guys literally trying to make it in New York. So once it was cancelled it got me thinking and I asked myself two questions.

  1.   Do people not want to watch average humans going through the same struggles they/we do?
  2.   Does society just want to watch a false reality?
I then thought back to the things I see around me, through the media, television, internet and hear about through word of mouth and at the end I asked myself ‘why can’t we just be happy for each other?’ it’s not hard to say ‘congratulations’. 

We look through all these blogs and magazines and we get happy when we see something negative about someone in the spotlight/ who has made it. Although we seem to like building them up but LOVE bringing them down but at the end of the day you turn around and say you have ‘haters’. Is that not the same thing you are doing to others?

The reason I adore the show ‘How to Make it in America’ is because it showed people like me trying to make their dream(s) come true and taking risks, struggling, making mistakes and motivating themselves to reach their goals/dream. Which is what we do on a daily basis but tend to focus on those who already have it.  Does talking negatively about the next person make you that much happier?

Most people I know now and used to know talk about the things they have. The materialistic items that they believe make them better than the next person. In reality who honestly cares what you have? At the same time I’m not going to lie, I am slightly materialistic myself. I like nice things but I’m not one to brag about what I have because that is not my goal and I don’t have to do that. I’m not trying to impress you.

Don’t dislike or victimise people for what they have or because they aren’t what you want them to be. The reality is you don’t know how someone got to where they are today; neither do you know how long it took them. As for me, I thoroughly comprehend the concept. Don’t hate or be negative towards them if anything learn from them.

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Driving Force

Over the past couple of days I haven’t had the motivation to update the blog. It surprised me because I have just started and it had me thinking what has changed from last week. There have been many changes but mostly it was my environment that had changed but I then remembered why I was doing this.

We all have different motivators. The most common for people my age is money and I can’t really blame us/them. Personally that stopped motivating me as much compared to two years ago. Today I would be more than happy accepting a job that pays £5. The possible impact and difference I leave at that place would be more than enough motivation for me to wake up and go to work on a daily basis.

When I had the idea of writing on this topic I asked family and friends on what motivates them and what makes them get out of bed every morning. I received a variety of answers from money to partners to dreams to family to peoples own personally situations and getting out of them.

The smallest of things can motivate you, whether it is your mum’s wise words, a dream, a song or a clip from something on TV or the internet.

Our motivations are unbelievably interesting. I am not as manipulatable and as predictable as people may think. Challenge, mastery and making a contribution motivate me. This includes my own personal ambitions and aiming for stability for loved ones I have now and the ones I leave once im gone.

Monday, 9 January 2012

Follow Suit

There is always a misjudgement passed, when you ask someone to do something and you specify the certain way in which it is to be done. More often than not, you are mistaken for being bossy, when in actual fact you are trying to make sure things are done correctly. Personally, I have decided it best to take charge of the situation and do things they way they should be done with hopes that others will pick it up from there too, but that’s never the situation. People tend to be, I don’t know whether to call it ignorant or lazy and overlook the vital detail, as if it is too much for someone to take a minute out of their time and do it correctly. 

Looking at how other people choose to do things is something I have done before and all it has done is demotivate me and bring me to a breaking point. This is a place I don’t want to go back to, and like the better personI am aiming to become, I am hoping that certain individuals will see my efforts and follow suit. But until then, I will put my best foot forward and continue to do what I do with utmost effort.

Moving forward positively is all i can do for myself and others around me but then again it is true what they say, if you want something done to perfection, do it yourself.

Sunday, 8 January 2012

Friend in Need

I’m sure most of us have been through such. Whether it’s in a relationship or its just with friends someone ends up giving more than the other and as time passes it creates an imbalance within the relationship/friendship. Let that person know you are there for them.

For example today I helped a complete stranger.

Whilst helping a friends friend today it got me thinking how it’s rare for you to do something for someone and for them to be truly grateful and for someone to do something for you and not expect something back.

So with the person I helped today, I have never met her in my life but a friend of mine told me she needed some help and I offered my help. Not knowing the girl, having never met her and not expecting anything back from her at all. (To some people that may be surprising for me to do). And surprisingly it turns out I managed to help a lot and she is actually using most of my input for what she is writing. Helping this much is a new thing for me and it actually feels good. Lol. 

It only takes a few moments to help someone so open your heart and mind to opportunities around you. Be grateful.

Saturday, 7 January 2012

It is what it is

In my past experiences with females they have provided a tonne of memories and some major ‘LOOLs’ thus far and could even be all I talk about on this blog but of course there are other more important topics. 

I would like to believe most of us males have heard most of the same stuff. For example:
  • ·         We lack emotion
  • ·         We don’t give them affection
  • ·         We don’t give them the attention they need
And then they come back to us. Few weeks later they are complaining about the same stuff. They have two options.
Option1 – stay and wait it out because you love us
Option2 – leave. 

Late last night and this morning I found myself speaking to one of my ex girlfriends and the topic of “us” came up. Which got me thinking of how (so far) she is the only female relationship I have had, in that sense, that can actually handle/cope with all the crazy I come with. This is good considering I have known her for the past 6 years.

As we got more and more into the conversation she brought up these ‘Terms & Conditions’ for us if we are to get back together.
  • 1.       Get rid of my pride
  • 2.       Don’t shut her out
  • 3.       Respect her friends (I don’t see what her friends have to do with us though)

Either way this is what she said to me...with a straight face. I found it extremely funny but it is what it is right?

So at the end of all of this us men are looking for that ‘ride or die’ girl that will always be there and be that rock we need by our side. Not behind us. We are not complicated to figure out. There is more than enough unconditional love for this girl it amazes me.

Friday, 6 January 2012

Thank You (week1)

For today I thought I would just talk about my experience thus far with this blog and the posts. It has been a strange experience so far. Letting out my thoughts and some experiences and situations I have been through.

It’s not as easy as it looks and that’s something I am learning now. Trying not to make my posts as personal as they have been so far is not easy. There is a massive urge to add people’s names to my posts but I have had to fight that. (Apart from the once)

There are more stories and experiences I want to share which I have already started writing but my mind has been all over the place the past couple of days so in due course.

So for now I just wanted to say a quick thank you to those who have been on here, commented, helped with my posts, been the subject of my posts and just generally supported. It is all appreciated.

Thursday, 5 January 2012

Ambition (part2)

A few weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night and had an out pour of ideas clouding my mind. So I quickly flipped my laptop open and started typing them all out. Next think I knew it was getting light outside and it had gone 9 am. I ended up spending the entire day on my laptop and speaking to a cousin based in America. I spoke to her specifically because we both have the same idea of eventually heading back home one of these years. Not sure when.

So as I was speaking to her about my ideas and how far I want to take them. There was this one main idea that was based on an experience/memory I had with her when I visited her and her sister. So as we explored the idea of actually taking this further we started to do our research and building our knowledge of the field we were going to embark into with the idea. 

A month later I found myself starting to write an investment proposal. I paused for a moment as a question went through my mind. So I asked myself ‘Am I ready to go back home yet?’ I ended up pondering on this question for a couple of days and came to the answer ‘No’

A few weeks later I then started this blog after realising it’s all a matter of time until everything falls in to place but not forgetting to keep working towards my dreams. Making sure I keep the handful of people and friends I trust around me. I then decided to put myself out there with this blog to document my thoughts so my mind doesn’t wonder off course  as not only can I see/read where I am you can as if you see me going off course put me back on it...

Let me do me my way

So I was speaking to this girl called Kim either last week or the week before and she said something that has nagged me since then. So she says to me ‘you are too white’. So it raised the question ‘as a black man how can I be “too white”?’

Do I have to be the stereotypical black male and like gangster rap, grime, hip hop, wear baggy jeans, call female bitches, call my friends niggers and even drink supermalt? As all of this went through my mind I started thinking of the environment I grew up in at an age in which it would affect my life and shape me for the future.

 The area was or still is predominantly white (I haven’t been back there for about 2 years now) which is something I couldn’t care any less about. A friend is a friend no matter the colour of their skin or their background. And now I have friends from various backgrounds and have various skin tones and I am truly grateful for that because due to that I know I can be in any environment and not feel ‘uncomfortable’.

But as the black man I am now I like nice things like calamari, lobster, champagne (actually no I don’t like champagne) Paul Smith clothes, pop music, rock, hip hop and chicken.(I don’t know anyone that doesn’t love chicken LOL)

So keep judging me, I appreciate it. It doesn’t do me any harm apart from letting me know I’m happy I am nothing like you and will keep doing me till I die J

Ambition (part1)

There are a small number of people I who I find influential and I look up to. One of which is my brother...

I have always felt I needed guidance from an elder but from watching my brother I have realised that’s all I needed to do. His drive, ambition, belief and dedication he has put towards his life, career and future makes me so proud to see where he has managed to get to.

I had a conversation with him a while back and he said this to me ‘you just need to find someone who believes in you as much as you do’ and ever since I heard that line I have woken up every morning and heard that go through my head. He deserves the success that’s coming his way...I just wish I helped more and played the younger brother role more.

Now to build on this relationship and find a way to beat him in tennis on the wii!! Lol

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

The Real Her

So boy meets girl blah blah blah! Turns out I played my role as I should have and continue to do so...which I believe to be that person you can rely on, the rock you need and who you can confide in but there was a moment last night when I realised you are not strong enough for are not able to be that strong back bone I would need from you...but maybe I'm expecting too much from you or these could just be the ramblings of a mad man (lol)

I can happily admit that I'm slightly crazy but when it comes down to it you don't have a reason in the world to question my loyalty, my word and my up most support for you and your happiness!!!!

You know this already and there may still be more to our story...or I could go back to the one that can handle me and my crap...

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

When karma come my way its going to hurt...

I have been patiently waiting for this bitch to come my way and hurt me for all I have done thus far but no luck so far...

...I would love to apologise to a number of people who I have done wrong but at times I do not believe its needed. Then again I have already started to apologise to some of those individuals on a personal level whether or not they forgive me is a different issue but I am working on making myself better...time is all that is needed...


Monday, 2 January 2012

I must be colour blind because the grass does not seem greener on that side...

I have a very few key relationships in my life but the ones I do have are true and real but I cant lie, I have been fooled by a few fake ones.

So I thought i might be doing something wrong so i started to analyse one of my friends relationships with three of her other friends. Although they say that they are friends from my view looking in they are all. So it had me thinking how many chances can you give a "friend" until you have to walk away? many times are you going to talk about each other behind your apparent friends back?...and most importantly is the person actually a friend to you and vice versa?

From this scenario I have learnt you have to be responsible for your the friend you want others to be to you...

Trust is the basis of any relationship and the group I looked at did not have any or are in denial. Without it you have nothing.