Over time I have noticed how women believe us men have an easier time getting over relationships once they have ended. In fact by now we should all know this is not the case. As men, from the moment we are brought into this world we are told/taught to be tough. Always questioned when we haven’t shed a tear and due to this our feelings are not always shown in the correct light from the females view.
So as I have been in a number of relationships some more meaningful than others and some have not ended in the ideal way. I get asked why I don’t seem affected by it but there are a number of things females need to know about how we deal with certain situations:
- 1. Showing emotion – is something we are not taught when growing up. Apart from the love we have for our mothers, sisters etc. Emotions can be seen as a form of weakness so we stay away from them as if they are going to hurt us. For us to show the emotions you want from us we need to be shown the level of loyalty and support we need from you.
- 2. Role – is key due to the fact we are brought up as providers. We are here to provide and protect. That is our role. You need to know that. It’s a role I play and only getting better at. So when your other half doesn’t have the time to see you or whatever it may be. This is why. We are creating something for our future whether it will be with you or not but for it to include you then you need to understand that. And if we have a plan for you we will profess.
- 3. Understanding – we aren’t complicated beings. We are simple. It doesn’t take a lot to make us happy and most importantly we don’t like playing games. Half the time all we need is a ‘thank you’ and to know we are appreciated for all we do.
I believe this to be the most important part of any relationship. There has to be a strong foundation. Just like when building a house...you start with the foundation and continue to build from there. There is no rushing into something that you want to last, take your time and build something worthwhile and because of that you need to be patient with us. If we like you we will let you know. If we want more we will let you know. The list goes on really but either way we will let you know. But either way the foundation is built from:
· Communication· Trust
These three things together are all that’s needed. Without one of them it doesn’t work.
Having friends chime in on your relationship is not the best thing to do but if and when they do we expect you to defend us. No matter what is said. You are with us for a reason hence the loyalty. It’s completely understandable for you to listen to their advice but the final decision comes down to you. They don’t know what YOU want nor do they know what YOU need. As we learn from our own mistakes we gain knowledge and that lets us move forwards towards something greater.
Respect yourself. If you want us to respect you then you should command it not demand it. We can tell within 5 minutes if a female has respect for herself from the way she dresses, carries herself and speaks.
Showing emotions is not what we are best known for but we do let you know where you stand. We all have our own roles to play and have to play them to the best of our ability. Understanding, communication and trust – are needed to build anything and everything. But in reality getting this person (male/female) is not easy as I’m sure most of us have come to realise as varying circumstances define the situation.